Me, "Hi there."
Yoof in the skate shop, "(Grunt.)"
"Erm, I'm after some wheels for my inline skates, I have an old pair of Majestic 12's and-"
"Yeah, they're well old" His expression could well be described as 'sneery' at this point.
"Yes, I know, thanks. So I was after some new wheels just so I can use them agai-"
"They were old even when I started skating" 'Sneerier'.
"Right, ok. So I've not skated for ages, I don't know which wheels I should be going fo-"
"anyfing really." Sell it, my friend.
"I'll mostly be doing park skating, so what size should I-"
"anyfing really." Go on, make that sale!
"Okayyy, could you recommend anything that would be half-decent?"
"anyfing really. There's these *Bobby Davro spin tastics* (Accuracy of brand names may vary), they're alright. Or the *ding dang doodle roly-polies*, they're alright. Or the-"
"Yes, I think I get it, i'll er, take those please."
I pointed randomly, ensuring a barely thought out purchase decision that I could have made on the internet by a series of random clicks, and probably saved some money at the same time.
Yoof rolls his eyes and sighs like the oppressed, over-burdened slave-worker that he obviously is. "I'll have to get the keys to open the cupboard."
"er, yes. ok."
Yoof sighs again, possibly hoping that this explanation of the great task I am asking of him will cause me to reconsider. I'm a nice person, but I need those wheels. Go get the keys, slave-boy.
After waiting for him to drag his carcass across the shop floor and back at *almost* trudging speed to get the keys, I am handed four wheels off the display shelf with no box. I think asking for a box may have been pushing it, the yoof was obviously under a lot of work related strain, and in all honesty I will only throw it in the bin anyway, i'll say I did it in the spirit of environmental awareness.
"Um, I'll need some bearings to go with these." Ooh, careful dandan, everyone has their breaking point.
Sigh, roll eyes, "there's these *spinny spin-spins*, they're alright. Ther-"
Ah, I see where this is going.
"Yes, I'll take those. Yes, that's fine."
"(Grunt.)"
At this point I was able to pay for my randomly chosen goods at a till staffed by someone who actually understood the basic principles of the retailer-customer relationship, this was a relief, I don't think I could have actually brought myself to hand real money the yoof.
I'm getting old aren't I?
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4 comments:
*wipes tears from eyes*
And there you are, at the grand old age of, what was it? 25? Just...
Don't you remember how hard it was being 18 or 19 and having to deal with *sigh* grown-ups? 'Specially one's who still thought old stuff was still cool... I mean, like, my god...
Thanks for posting that, it was brill. That'll still be making me laugh tonight. :)
"They like me, they really like me!"
They being you, (you being the general public) and people who I don't know personally.
Thanks for the positive comment, I just added your blog to my link list, I would have done it sooner (cos it's very good) but last time I clicked on the link to it, it wouldn't display. That's my excuse anyway.
And aside from that, I was a very nice, polite 18 or 19 year old with nothing but respect for adults. The worst thnig is, that is totally true.
Yes, we do like you! Of course, we do.
I too was a suitably respectful teen. But I had, and still have, a plan. The day I turn 45 is the day I unleash all the pent up sullenness on the world. Pity that's still 16 years away... Still, s'pose I have to set a decent example to my kids. :)
Thanks for the link too, btw.
45? I like to release my unused sullenness in unpredictable bursts when people least expect it.
Stop commenting on my blog. I hate you.
See?
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