Arguing with estate agents.
It's actually quite fun, especially when you know you are in the right and you can sit back and wait for them to figure out their own operating policies in order for them to realise they are wrong and then apologise to you. (they are still at the figuring out stage at the moment.)
It has made it a bit hard to get any posts in so I'm sorry about that but the whole situation is generating some blogging gold for use when I have the time to write about it, like when my dad almost physically shoved the lettings managers head inside our newly-rented, mouldy fridge to prove it was not fit for storing food.
You can't make that up.
Well, you could, but then it wouldn't be true and it's much funnier when it really happens.
Monday 21 January 2008
Sunday 13 January 2008
Pogonophobics, you're ok by me
I always thought people were faking it when they professed to having weird irrational aversions to things like pumpkin seeds and men wearing floral shirts, but then I realised that I really can't explain why I retch when I smell overripe bananas.
Discuss.
Discuss.
Thursday 10 January 2008
Punch someone today, you'll thank me.
Have you ever noticed how, when someone is killed in an accident or possibly murdered in a gruesome manner, it always turns out that they were, according to their friends and acquaintances, the most incredible person that ever lived?
Perhaps a schoolboy gets killed crossing train tracks or gets blown up in a freak science lab experiment (slightly less likely these days due to health and safety laws meaning the most dangerous chemical you can use in school is lemon juice), which isn't nice obviously, but then the headteacher is recorded as saying he was the smartest, nicest, brightest boy in the school, then his friends say everyone loved him and he was always happy and smiling etc etc.
It's kind of odd isn't it?
So I have a theory about this, that may one day save your life.
If you find yourself being told constantly how great you are, or you never seem able to upset or annoy anyone, then be a bit worried.
If the absolute worst happens and somebody remarks "you know what, you are the most popular person around here, you're really great you are." then I recommend that you run, fast and far, 'cos your life is in the balance.
I reckon the world has an inscrutable plan to rid itself of the nicest, friendliest, most popular people (I don't know why, it's a theory, not a law), so if you think that might be you, then start being a bit of a nobhead, and quickly.
I'm off to pour tea on the bosses lap, just in case.
Perhaps a schoolboy gets killed crossing train tracks or gets blown up in a freak science lab experiment (slightly less likely these days due to health and safety laws meaning the most dangerous chemical you can use in school is lemon juice), which isn't nice obviously, but then the headteacher is recorded as saying he was the smartest, nicest, brightest boy in the school, then his friends say everyone loved him and he was always happy and smiling etc etc.
It's kind of odd isn't it?
So I have a theory about this, that may one day save your life.
If you find yourself being told constantly how great you are, or you never seem able to upset or annoy anyone, then be a bit worried.
If the absolute worst happens and somebody remarks "you know what, you are the most popular person around here, you're really great you are." then I recommend that you run, fast and far, 'cos your life is in the balance.
I reckon the world has an inscrutable plan to rid itself of the nicest, friendliest, most popular people (I don't know why, it's a theory, not a law), so if you think that might be you, then start being a bit of a nobhead, and quickly.
I'm off to pour tea on the bosses lap, just in case.
Friday 4 January 2008
I went to fit some signs at the new Terminal 5 at Heathrow Airport today, it was pretty cool.
Aside from having to carry a van full of signage around the site on foot, (no trolleys allowed yet, and no little electric buggies either, another dream unfulfilled) we got to see bits of the terminal that the public won't see, and we got to experience the bits that the public will see in a very different context, i.e completely stark bollock empty.
It's really weird walking quietly through a 1/2 mile long tunnel under the busiest runway in Europe and then realising that you can see both distant ends of the tunnel and not spot a single person. It's a bit like being in a Bond film, sneaking through the evil kingpin's secret underground lair, only Bond probably doesn't carry a toolbox full of masking tape and surface cleaner with him.
We also found ourselves at a departure gate in building B (which is just plain massive, as compared to building A which is the largest free-standing building in Europe or something like that) without another soul in sight, and we could see the length of the building, past about another 20 gates. It felt like 28 days later, a completely normal place that becomes incredibly odd simply due to the lack of any human life.
Blimey it's all gone a bit philosophical round here, sorry.
I rode the second longest escalator in the country too, misses out on the top spot by one step so I was told. (beaten by the Angel tube station) Personally I would have re-designed that bit of the building to require a slightly longer escalator, say about two steps longer, but that;s my competitive nature for you.
Aside from having to carry a van full of signage around the site on foot, (no trolleys allowed yet, and no little electric buggies either, another dream unfulfilled) we got to see bits of the terminal that the public won't see, and we got to experience the bits that the public will see in a very different context, i.e completely stark bollock empty.
It's really weird walking quietly through a 1/2 mile long tunnel under the busiest runway in Europe and then realising that you can see both distant ends of the tunnel and not spot a single person. It's a bit like being in a Bond film, sneaking through the evil kingpin's secret underground lair, only Bond probably doesn't carry a toolbox full of masking tape and surface cleaner with him.
We also found ourselves at a departure gate in building B (which is just plain massive, as compared to building A which is the largest free-standing building in Europe or something like that) without another soul in sight, and we could see the length of the building, past about another 20 gates. It felt like 28 days later, a completely normal place that becomes incredibly odd simply due to the lack of any human life.
Blimey it's all gone a bit philosophical round here, sorry.
I rode the second longest escalator in the country too, misses out on the top spot by one step so I was told. (beaten by the Angel tube station) Personally I would have re-designed that bit of the building to require a slightly longer escalator, say about two steps longer, but that;s my competitive nature for you.
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