Today I Was Mostly...

In a supervisory role at work.

As far as I can figure, this means I get to stand around and watch people do the work I would otherwise have to be doing myself.
I am apparently in no way obliged to lend a hand, indeed I would probably not be able to maintain my strict and total control of the situation if I were actually doing any work.

I was supervising one of our new guys while he got to grips with operating our full-colour digital printers, which will be his job for the foreseeable future. In what seems a bit of a blog tradition, I should give him some sort of code name instead of his actual name, I don't know why this is, but I'm willing to give it a try.
How about print-boy? hmm, smacks of half-assed superhero sidekick.
Oh sod it, let's call him Chris, you can pretend it's a code name if you really want to.

It seems the fact that I started using the printers about 3 days before he did, means I am qualified to teach him how to use them. The problem with what is essentially a £15,000 inkjet printer, is that it has about £15,000 worth of bits that can go horribly and expensively wrong, and with my 12 or so hours of crucial extra knowledge, I am supposed to be able to guide, ahem, "Chris" through all possible print-related pitfalls. I can't see it happening myself, but in my supervisory role, all I can do is sit back and hope nothing explodes and no small, essential parts of machinery ping off into the furthest corners of the room.

This has led me to conclude that another essential duty of a supervisor is to think of someone to blame when things go wrong.

I give Chris about 4 days*.


*Not really, he's a very nice bloke and I'm sure I won't be forced to fire him for at least a fortnight.

Good Things About Still Having A Cold

There are still none.

I haven't had one day off work (i'm so committed) and I still feel rubbish, where's the justice in that?

The climbing competition is on this coming weekend so I have bloomin' well better be better by then or I won't be best pleased.

Snot is not an aid to good climbing technique, apparently.

Good things about having a cold

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Help me out here.

The Aimless Guide to Excruciating Pain

1. Get home and notice your chillies from your exceedingly hot, dead habanero chilli plant (R.I.P. Tim) lying on the shelf.

2. Decide to strip the seeds out, ready to plant them next year and grow lots of little Tim the 2nd's.

3. Complete your task and completely fail to wash your hands in any way.

4. Go for a pee.

5. Have a good old scratch around while you are there, it's the end of the day, you deserve it.

6. Wait 2 minutes

7. I don't need to draw you a picture. Inn fact I would refuse even if you asked nicely.

8. If you are not in enough agony, forget about the very recent discomfort you just endured, and rub your eyes after coming out of the shower.

I'll let you know when things aren't red and hurty any more.

Hurrah for Stress! (or lack thereof)

Today I am become Sign Maker, the maker of signs.

Not quite as poignant as the misquoted chap in New Mexico , but it's important to me.

Today marks my change in job position from graphic designer (stress stress stress and sitting down all day) back to sign maker (freedom to frolic amongst the self adhesive vinyls and worry about nothing more than what is for lunch and possibly whether I can scratch my balls without anyone noticing)

And considering I am on the same hourly rate whichever one I do, I know which one I'd prefer. (it's the sign making position, for those of you not quite up to speed, that's the better job)

So, yeah, I'm just dead chuffed really, and wanted to share the joy. Leave a comment and I will respond with joyful tidings and pleasantries, I'm that kind of guy.

Oh, and have another climbing picture, 'cos they are ace.

P.S. does anyone else notice that if you monkey about with posh stuff like links and pictures, it makes the formatting go all kooky? I wish I understood computers.

At the climbing wall...

Rich: "I can smell something funny around here, smells like fish."

Dandan: "That is the smell of fish."

Rich: "I wonder where it's coming from?"

Dandan: "It's coming from my bag."

Rich: "Why?"

Dandan: "Because my bag smells of fish."

Rich: "Ok, but why does it smell of fish?"

Dandan: "Because it's got fish in it."

Rich: "oh, right."

Well, you can't spend all night talking about overhangs and harnesses and the like.

Things You Never Wanted to Know and Didn't Ask #1

Why are light switches so small, when the surround they are mounted into is so big?

I Love Weekends

Obstinate Abstinence

I didn't eat any chocolate today.

This, in itself is no great achievement for me, I probably quite often go without eating chocolate for a whole day without even noticing.
The difference today is that I was offered some chocolate, and possibly for the first time in recorded history, I said 'no'. (I didn't literally just say 'no', that would be rude, I probably said something like 'no thanks, I'm off the chocolate, cheers anyway'. I'm quite polite in real life you know)

I'm training you see.

As you may or may not know (or care), I am a bit of a rock climber, and there is a competition on at my local wall at the end of the month. I decided I would enter it, and thought I could do a bit of training for the month leading up to it, just to give myself a little extra edge.

The problem with this is that I already climb regularly and pretty intensively, so the best aid I can give to myself is to alter my diet.
So I am cutting out the crap, albeit only for this month, and trying to balance my diet out to the best of my ability. This involves mostly guesswork if I'm honest.

Anyway, back to the point, I had to say 'no' to some chocolate today, because that is one thing that is most definitely not on my 'balanced diet' list, and I couldn't believe how difficult it was!
I'm lucky when it comes to digestion, I can eat a pound of butter fried in lard with a pint of grease to wash it down, and I never put on any weight, but consequently, I have never had to say 'no' to anything before.

I spent the afternoon fantasising about the chocolate bars sitting seductively in my desk drawer, I mean, look, I just used the would 'seductively' in relation to a cocoa based foodstuff!

I don't envy those people who do this all the time, and I certainly don't want to be strong enough to be like them and be able to say 'no' to stuff I want more often, saying 'no' is rubbish and denial is just not good for you.

I'm hoping I break my self imposed diet and pig out on the brown stuff soon, saying 'yes' is the way I like to do things, and I don't want to change just yet.

Fingers crossed for the competition anyway though.

Go easy please

Um, OK, for right or for wrong, for good or for bad, I just put up the first little bit of the novel I'd kind of like to write. It will be a heroic fantasy type of thing, but I hope to keep it at least slightly light hearted when appropriate.

You can find it here, Aimless Novel and if you can be arsed to read it, (it isn't very long) please go easy, it feels kind of odd to even put it up in public view.
It's kind of a prologue type bit, and I hope it kind of leaves you with an interest in finding out more. (wow, dandan has single handedly discovered 'the hook')

Well, enjoy, or don't I suppose.

R.I.P Tim

Get out your black suits and veiled hats, Tim is no more.

Somehow, and I have no idea how, (ahem) he contracted a severe case of 'Little-bugs-all-over-his-leaves-itis', and he was starting to turn yellow and manky, so I plucked his two fruits (are chillies fruits? vegetables I suppose) from his withering stem before they went manky too.

That as the last straw for poor Tim, with nothing left to live for, his babies torn mercilessly from his caring embrace (to go into my cooking pot), he gave up the fight for life. Bugs and manky leaves - 1 : Tim - 0.

He will be missed dearly, never again will I get to under or over water him on a regular basis, never again will I be able to forget about him for a whole week at a time, never again will his lack of apparent ability to produce any more than two chillies be a thorn in my side.


On a lighter note, me and Rach are going to put one of the habanero's into a curry, and I am going to dry the seeds from the other one, and grow Tim the 2nd next year!

So, coming soon:

Tim II - Ring of Fire
Just when you thought it was safe to take the toilet paper out of the fridge...